FEATURE: Family, Friends And Music

 Family, friends and music. What sounds like a third-rate Netflix series rip-off can actually be viewed in two different ways. On the one hand, we have the idealized perception as it will exist in most minds. Very positively connoted as an enrichment of life, full of friendship and liters of oxytocin. The other side is the connection between the dream world that most musicians produce and the sometimes diametrically opposed alignment of the “real” world with all its hard landings and punches in the stomach. Let's take a look at both camps.

Friends, friendship, joyless...

Let's not kid ourselves, making music with good friends is pretty much the all-encompassing basis with which you usually start your musical career. Nothing is as satisfying, nothing ensures a comparable release of happiness hormones and nothing is currently on the decline as much as the aforementioned campaign. Why this? Well, as already mentioned, you need 1.) friends, 2.) a time together and you want to 3.) make music together.

Anyone who owns these 3 points can consider themselves very lucky; they usually fail on point 1.), but that's another story. I'll venture a very bold thesis and believe that probably only 10% of all Amazona readers still have some kind of constellation for musician friends, which involves regular, together playing music in a room and occasional live performances with friends. The whole thing is separate from Covid, of course. While in the past you had to meet up to record music simply for technical reasons, today it is standard for everyone to work at home and send sound snippets around, which someone then sticks together to form a “song”.

In the pro sector, it is now a basic requirement that you can package your instrument in WAV files in whatever form and then send them wherever you want via Dropbox or WeTransfer. Anyone who cannot meet this standard and has to go to an external studio to record their tracks, which they then want to bill for, no longer has a chance in the system. And since even in the most complex of all recording areas, the drum area, it is now difficult to determine whether an acoustic set was recorded with great effort in a good studio, or whether the drum tracks were arranged on an electric drum set or with a superior drummer, you lose composing and arranging together is becoming increasingly important. The composers of a song usually create a pre-production according to their technical skills, which is improved by the remaining instrumentalists with regard to their own instrument and that's it. The only joint activity remains a live performance, which, depending on the band, can only be carried out with massive use of the backing track.

Why this sometimes harsh reduction to the bare essentials? Quite simply, as always, it's the costs. Transport, accommodation and food for a band incur costs that cannot be covered by anything, so everyone prepares themselves at home, they meet once before an upcoming show or tour and off they go. It is therefore extremely important to keep the social aspect of making music together as high as possible, as long as there are no commercial aspects behind the project. You should also keep in mind that as you get older, the time available to meet together decreases. First comes the training, then possibly a move to another city, then starting a family, then a career and finally the aging process, all points that increasingly limit making music together. You can only really make music without worries when you're young, when your parents can keep you away from all the economic and time problems. By the way, over 80% of all professional musicians come from well-off parents, why?

Music and family

When I was in my early 20s (I was always the youngest in the band back then) there was an unwritten rule. Whenever a colleague became a father, you could immediately look for a replacement. No matter how hard the colleague tried to reconcile his band and family, it didn't work. In the best case scenario, he took a job with the local dance band, but then ended up looking like an insurance salesman because of the prescribed haircut and, under the influence of massive amounts of alcohol, struggled through the “Rosamunde” classics at the local Bums folk festival. You can't earn that much money to commit to this artistic suicide in installments. But your offspring, or rather your entire family, rightly doesn't care at all how you bring the rent together, the main thing is that you bring it together, which brings us to the middle of the topic.

If you really want to know what makes a successful musician, you should sit down with your partner and have a chat, because he/she decides whether you manage to realize your musical dreams. Almost no musician is born a star, apart from those with a globally successful name such as Julian Lennon. The poor guy then has to deal with the comparisons to his father his entire life, especially since he looks exactly the same and his voice sounds similar. With something like that you can only lose and the therapists give in to each other.

So what if you used your youth to learn an instrument and now want to take the next step towards becoming a professional musician? You have to fight your way through, currently harder and more brutal than ever. You make contacts, work for nuts and get through a 90-hour week, but in return, despite guitar lessons, you barely manage to raise enough money to keep one person, namely yourself, alive. So what do you need? A partner who earns at least the same, or better yet more, than you with an independent 9 to 5 job. The classic “Dinki” setup (double income, no kids) is born.

That's how to live and with good household accounting, life as a whole can be managed well if, yes, if there weren't these compromises that the partner would have to make. True, the partner is very proud when she sees her husband in trade magazines or on stage in front of a horde of cheering fans, but in return, what planning needs to be done. The standard is that the partner has to plan her vacation around her husband's touring plans. “Darling, we have the chance to go on a European tour with *Hutzelefutz* for 3 weeks. There is no fee and we only have to pay very little for the seats on the Nightliner, but we make it all back with the merch sale!” And then half of my partner’s annual vacation is gone.

What is also a burden that should not be underestimated is the fact that whenever “normal” people are partying, your husband is on some stage, i.e. H. Your partner is always alone at first. Sure, the woman can invite a few friends and come to the show, but after the umpteenth visit this effect wears off and the action can only be carried out within a certain spatial framework. Some musicians therefore try to bring their girlfriends with them in some capacity (tour leader/merchandise), which sometimes works quite well in the area of merch, but usually fails dismally in the area of tour management. But by the time it comes to the follow-up to the merch sale, the glamor is gone and you would like to kick the shirt boxes into the corner.

We summarize. The partner of a musician usually finds the following:

- little and irregular income
- unfavorable time distribution
- latent discrepancy between fiction and reality
- constant competition in the party atmosphere
- Setting your own financial goals
- a total fresh start if you want to have children

and the whole thing with a minimal chance of making up for the lost years economically through the “breakthrough”. Now to be honest, would you accept this offer?
We all know the saying “Behind a successful man there is a strong woman” and I am sure that the points mentioned above can also be found in many other industries outside of the music biz, but in no business are there such a wide gap between ideals and reality.

Therefore, all I can say to all aspiring musicians is that if you have found a partner who can handle all of these factors and won't let you down in the crucial case, look after him like the apple of your eye with everything you do. what you achieve. The streets are full of broken lives that the partnership has unhinged at the crucial moment.

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Additional Informations:

Navigating Uniqueness: Challenges and Joys of Having a Musician as the Family Patriarch

Introduction:

The life of a musician is often romanticized for its creative freedom, stage lights, and the euphoria of musical expression. However, the realities of being a musician extend beyond the spotlight, impacting not only the artist but also their family. This comprehensive report delves into the distinctive challenges and joys that a family may endure when the patriarch is a musician.
Erratic Schedule and Touring Lifestyle:

One of the primary challenges families face when the father is a musician is the unpredictable and often erratic schedule. Musicians frequently engage in touring, performing in different cities or even countries, which can result in extended periods of separation from their families. The constant juggling act between pursuing a musical career and maintaining a stable family life requires a delicate balance, with families navigating the emotional strain of extended absences and sporadic reunions.

Financial Uncertainties:

The music industry is renowned for its financial uncertainties, and this reality can cast a shadow over the stability of a musician's family life. Income fluctuations, especially for independent or emerging artists, can contribute to financial stress. The absence of a consistent paycheck and the dependence on sporadic gigs, album sales, or royalties can pose challenges in meeting the family's financial needs, necessitating careful budgeting and financial planning.

Creativity Versus Stability:

The pursuit of a musical career often involves a delicate dance between the artist's creative aspirations and the family's need for stability. Musicians may find themselves torn between investing time and energy into their craft and fulfilling their responsibilities as fathers and partners. Striking the right balance becomes crucial, as neglecting either aspect can lead to strains on both the artistic journey and family relationships.

Unconventional Lifestyle:

The unconventional lifestyle of a musician can introduce a unique set of challenges to family dynamics. Late-night rehearsals, impromptu jam sessions, and exposure to a bohemian subculture can be both fascinating and challenging for family members not directly involved in the music scene. Navigating societal expectations and maintaining a sense of normalcy within the family unit requires open communication, understanding, and a shared commitment to embracing the unconventional aspects of the musician's lifestyle.

Creative Inspirations and Family Bonding:

Amidst the challenges, there are also distinct joys that come with having a musician as the family patriarch. The creative inspirations that stem from the artist's experiences and musical expressions can enrich the family's cultural and emotional tapestry. Music becomes a shared language, fostering unique bonding moments as family members attend concerts, collaborate on musical projects, or simply share in the artist's passion for their craft.

Legacy and Role Modeling:

A musician father can serve as a powerful role model for their children, imparting valuable lessons about perseverance, creativity, and the pursuit of one's dreams. The legacy of a musician extends beyond the stage, influencing the family's values and attitudes towards passion and dedication. However, striking a balance between nurturing the artistic spirit and providing a stable foundation for the family becomes a delicate yet rewarding endeavor.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, the experience of having a musician as the family patriarch is a journey marked by a unique blend of challenges and joys. Families navigating this path must cultivate resilience, open communication, and a shared commitment to both the artistic aspirations of the musician and the stability and well-being of the family unit. It is through this delicate balance that the intricacies of a musical family's life unfold, creating a narrative that is as rich and diverse as the melodies that resonate from the heart of the musician.